Pucking Wild

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of gender discrimination, ableism, sexual content, physical abuse, cursing, graphic violence, and emotional abuse.

“You look at me and you see wife potential, don’t you? Another prize for your shelf. A game to be won. But I’ve been someone’s wife, Ryan, […] And I will never be a man’s trophy again. We can laugh and dance and tease each other all night long. But when that sun rises, you’ll see the truth. You’ll see me for all that I am. And what I am is a waste of your time.”

Tess tells this to Ryan when they are dancing at the Prices’ wedding and just after Ryan expresses interest in pursuing a relationship with her. The opinions Tess expresses here will follow the couple throughout the novel. It is particularly significant that Tess assumes what Ryan wants and doesn’t ask him, as she will later find out that her assumptions aren’t true. Tess’s defensiveness stems largely from her experiences with Troy, which this quote provides insight into, establishing Navigating Romantic Relationships After Trauma as a key theme.

“‘You’re being so irrational right now. I don’t know how I’m supposed to talk to you—’ 

‘Irrational?’ I cry, eyes wide. ‘My career is on the line because you got your fucking feelings hurt!’”

This exchange between Tess and Troy occurs just after Troy has her put on administrative leave for being photographed dancing with Ryan. Troy often uses similar language to gaslight Tess and devalue her thoughts and feelings. Yet, as Tess implies here, Troy’s behavior is itself irrational, and her voicing this proves that she has realized his true character during their separation and begun to gain self-confidence—a key part of her character arc.

“I used to be happy all the time. I used to laugh and love out loud. I was wild once. I was free. I’ve been trying to find my way back to that girl who danced in her underwear. Rachel was helping me find her. I miss her. I miss me.”

Tess thinks this after she sees a picture of herself smiling and having fun at the wedding. This thought catalyzes her move to Florida and her desire to see Rachel, with whom she was last happy. Throughout the novel, Tess returns to this idea of the “fun” and “wild” Tess she once was, trying to recover her old self in her new life in a way that ties her character development to the process of